Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
