Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
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Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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