So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
