watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
