You're a womanizer and a bitch.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
