I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
it hurts more in the daytime
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
