How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
