when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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