Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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