yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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