how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
