also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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