Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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