no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Can i not drive my cunt home
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
