So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We talked him into tasing himself.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
