At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
4 words: hood of his car
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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