the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
