Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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