Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
