I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
