I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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