it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
