The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
