Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
