but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
