My friends, they love my intelligence
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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