You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
