don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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