go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
