Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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