Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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