That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
