im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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