i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
