oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he shaved USA in his pubs
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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