Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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