Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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