Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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