I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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