I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
