i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
