There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize