david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Couch. On fire.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
