sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
