Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
