Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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