idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
