You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
