ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
