True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
