2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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