I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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